And Now For Something Totally Different: Chuck Norris Edition

There are no steroids in baseball; just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.  

Chuck Norris doesn't divide by zero — Zero divides by Chuck Norris.

Before the Boogieman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.  

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter; he roundhouse-kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Bruce Lee was the only person in the world who could defeat Chuck Norris.  Now that Bruce is dead, Chuck Norris is invincible.*

Superman and Chuck Norris once made a bet.  The loser had to wear his undies on the outside for the rest his career.  Guess who won?  

Superman owns a set of Chuck Norris pajamas.  

They tried to put Chuck Norris on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't strong enough for his beard.  

When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the world down.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a viper.  After hours of searing agony, the viper died.  

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming "Law and Order" are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

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*My own original Chuck Norris joke.  

CAVELERIA RUSTICANA/I PAGLIACCI: Two Verismo Classics In One Handy Package

The more things change, the more things stay the same.  

Yes, I know that platitude has been overused and outlived its usefulness, but boy does Sir David McVicar know how to use it to grand effect. He put together a superb production of Pietro Mascagni's Cavalleria Rusticana and Ruggero Leoncavallo's I Pagliacci; opera's most famous tragic double bill.  Tenor Marcelo Álvarez has dared to take on both the roles of Turiddu and Canio in this production, which is no easy feat. Joining him were sopranos Eva-Maria Westbroek and Patricia Racette in the roles of Santuzza and Nedda respectively, with baritone George Gagnidze as both Alfio and Tonio (again not an easy task).  McVicar's production sets the double tragedy in the same Sicilian village just fifty years apart.  
    
 I can't do a play-by-play like I enjoy doing because this one is a double-header, and double-headers don't lend themselves well to that sort of thing.


    In Cavalleria Rusticana, before the beginning of the story, Turiddu came back from war to find his beloved Lola married another man.  He seduced Santuzza and then abandoned her when Lola got jealous of them.  Santuzza was then excommunicated.  
          Santuzza confides in Turiddu's mother Lucia about what happened between them.  When Turiddu arrives, Santuzza pleads with him, but he dismisses her.  Lola enters and mocks Santuzza for her excommunication.  After Lola leaves with Turiddu for Mass, Santuzza tells Alfio about their adultery (and immediately regrets it).  Alfio confronts Turiddu who challenges him to a duel. They fight and Turiddu is killed.
         In I Pagliacci, an impoverished traveling comedy troupe, headed by Canio, comes to town.  In the comic play the put on, Canio plays Pagliaccio and his wife Nedda plays Pagliaccio's unfaithful wife, Colombina.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, Nedda is cheating on Canio with another man, Silvio, in real life.  When Canio finds out, the results are disatrous.  

    The operas are different in style and McVicar wanted to capitalize on that.  So Cavalleria Rusticana is set in the year 1900 and is very dark and very brooding.  It is described as a backward looking piece that seems more reminiscent of early Verdi.  There is a lot of emphasis on rituals and religious ceremonies.  Everyone was clad in either black or dark grey.  Santuzza spent most of those ritual scenes off to one side, as she has been excommunicated. 
        
 

In this production, I Pagliacci is set in the same village as Cavalleria, but takes place fifty years later in 1948.  This on is described as a more forward looking piece and largely about conversation (such as one would find in a television soap opera of our day).  The mixture of comic and tragic elements and the blurring of lines between public and private lives is what makes this production work.  
    McVicar worked hard to make the Act 2 comic play feel funny as opposed to just looking funny.  You have clownish servants doing juggling tricks or slapping each other in the face with whipped cream.  There is a chicken puppet which seems to move on its own, but is in fact under a false arm (later on the chicken is cooked and refuses to stay dead).  Giving the play a lot more tangible humor makes the tragic finale all the more devastating. 

Eva-Maria Westborek outdid herself in this opera, besting her own performance of Zandonai's Francesca da Rimini just two years ago.  She was always onstage, doing something whether it was crying on Mamma Lucia's shoulder or praying during the intermezzo.  
      Marcelo Álvarez and George Gagnidze worked the hardest out of everyone in the cast.  They were in both Cavalleria and Pagliacci, with Álvarez singing both Turiddu and Canio, and Gagnidze singing both Alfio and Tonio.  Both were spectacular both vocally and dramatically.  As Turiddu, Álvarez was somewhat indecisive in regards to Lola and Santuzza.  And Gagnidze as Alfio seemed more cocky and overconfident.  And then made a smooth Álvarez went from being the heart-breaker to being heart-broken as the unfortunate Canio in I Pagliacci.  To hear him sing the famous lament that closes Act 1 was something else.  Gagnidze was very good as Tonio.  For some weird reason they gave him the final line of the opera, "La comedia e finita.",* to him rather than to Canio.  
      Patricia Racette as Nedda was also very good.  She brought a lot to the character, namely Nedda's conflicted emotions.  Should she stay with Canio, or leave with Silvio? 
     In the original libretto, Nedda is supposed to be around seventeen or eighteen whereas Canios is in his forties or fifties. In this production, they looked much closer in age, maybe a couple in their late thirties or early forties.  I liked that bit; it meant that now the things that are troubling their relationship are a little more complex.  So Nedda is not just a young wife who hates her life and wants to be free; there's more to it.  It could very well be that they were madly in love when they first married, and the stress of traveling around the time and the grinding poverty they deal with took its toll on both of them.  
      I don't like Silvio very much, but I have seen a baritone who played him very passionately before (as in, could make this one-dimensional character real).  I forget the name of the man who sang Silvio here, but his interpretation made the character seem like a cardboard cut-out and was not particularly enthralling in his performance.  

Splendid production.  Sir David McVicar has got to bring this one to Madison.
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*"The comedy is over."
        


         

Jewelry As Abstract Storytelling

I recently came across this website that advertises bracelets inspired by opera.  And while some of them show only one aspect of the story, some of the others tell the whole story altogether just using beads.  What it all adds up to is basically a form of abstract art and storytelling.  

How does it work?  Well at first glance, this bracelet telling the story of Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin doesn't look like much.  And it is a little hard figuring it out without a guide.  Here is how this kind of storytelling works. 

Notice how the beads are used to represent a character, emotion, or action.  Here, a green bead stands for jealousy.  Charms stand in for a specific event or feeling.  Dark colors usually indicate something is seriously wrong.  

Now let's take a look at this bracelet representing the deranged Lucia in Donizetti's tragic horror story Lucia di Lammermoor.  This one is simpler because it describes just one aspect of the story.  Here, clear, pearly white, and blood-red beads indicate Lucia's blood-stained wedding dress (or nightgown depending on the production).  There is a Celtic knot charm for the Scottish setting, and a heart charm for Lucia's love for Edgardo.  The dagger charm shows the knife with Lucia murders her new husband Arturo, after she has been abused into marrying him in order to save her family's failing fortunes.  

So now you see how this works.  And you can use a bracelet to tell stories from plays, novels, and maybe even films.  For example, how would someone use a bracelet to tell the story of Casablanca?  Would they use red hearts for the love between the two main characters?  A fez charm for the Moroccan setting?  A dark blue bead for Rick's despair after Ilsa leaves him a Dear John letter with no explanation?  Granted there's only so far you can go with this form of storytelling, but it's a very interesting concept, and would love to attempt it myself.

Last Words

I would like to directly quote the pastor's sermon from this evening:

               Buddha's last words were, "Strive without ceasing," 
               Jesus last words were, "It it finished,".  

LA DONNA DEL LAGO: Rossini's Dark Scottish Drama

Two weeks ago saw the encore simulcast of Rossini's little-known gem La Donna del Lago.  It's called the Lady of the lake in name only as the opera is based off of a novel by Sir Walter Scott and has nothing to do with Arthurian legend. This opera was a vehicle for the two foremost bel canto artists, mezzo-soprano Joyce DiDonato and tenor Juan Diego Flórez, whom I saw last season in La Cenerentola.  Joining them were Italian contralto Daniela Barcellona and tenor John Osborn.   

I cannot do a play-by-play like most of the others, due to the complicated plot.  Simply put, this story has one thing in common with Ernani, and that is the fact that it has a love square.  Elena, the lady of the lake, and the young warrior Malcolm are in love.  Elena is engaged to Rodrigo, a Highland cheiftain.  Also pursuing Elena is King James V, who has been traveling in disguised using the name Uberto (your head may now explode).  Elena's father Duglas was once the king's tutor before he rebelled against him many years earlier.  While the various Scottish chieftains prepare to fight against the king, Elena desperately hopes and pleads for peace within a country that's tearing itself apart.  In the end the contralto gets the mezzo.  

Joyce DiDonato has long been a champion of this piece.  I couldn't find fault at all with her performance.  Nowhere is her skill with bel canto more evident than in the famous aria "Tanti affetti", with its rapid coloratura and blazing trills.  And her chemistry with Juan Diego
Flórez and Daniela Barcellona was just superb.

I have already talked before about how amazing Juan Diego Flórez is.  This is the third time I have seen him in a Rossini opera, the fourth time I have seen him in a simulcast, the third time I have seen him alongside Joyce DiDonato, and the second time I have seen him as an incognito king (well, Don Ramiro is a prince, but it's the same principle).  His sensitive portrayal of a king who lets love win out over anger was without any flaws.  In fact, it was such that I wished Elena would fall in love with him.   

  

Despite the fact that I have heard Daniela Barcellona before (she's one of the guest singers on Flórez's "Bel Canto Spectacular" album), I had never actually seen her perform.  And having seen her perform live, I will honestly say that she was absolutely splendid as Malcolm.  And she had great chemistry with Joyce DiDonato (although I do wish that the make-up department had given her more of a stubble or a beard for the part). 

John Osborne was somewhat new to me.  But he was also great as Roderigo.  He was fiery, bold, warlike, and very much a Highlander in this piece. Actually, I think with the way he did this role he should have been featured in the TV show Game of Thrones.  

Speaking of Game of Thrones, that's how director Paul Curran describes the sets and costumes.  Scotland is a very cold and wet climate, so many of the costumes had fur or heavy cloth.  Of course this changes in the court of the king where the nobles are wearing Reconnaissance-style clothing and the king is clad in gold brocade.  Most of the action takes place on a heath by the lake, although for one scene as small cutaway representing the interior of Elena's cottage appears and the final scene is set in the court of the king.  The finale scene of Act 1 was awesome, but also a little bit creepy with blue-clad druids performing pre-battle rituals and painting warriors faces with indigo paint.  Perhaps the musical highlight for me is the Act 2 trio, in which the king and Roderigo prepare to do battle, and Elena pleads for peace.  That scene had a tent to one side, and enemy heads mounted on pikes.  

This opera is amazing and the performances stellar.  It's just harder to do a love-square in a serious drama than it is in a comedy. 

Links

S. Weasel put up perhaps one of the amusing photos I've ever seen.

I Don't Know, But... has some very good insights in regards to a certain loaded question that was asked recently.

Assistant Village Idiot mentioned an old beer commercial (with the animation looking like whoever animated Rocky and Bullwinkle did it).  

And Dr. Boli knows how to satirize advice columns. 

ANFSTD (And Now For Somthing Totally Different)

Three youths are on trial for theft.  The first one says to the judge, "All I did your honor, was smash a window, steal someone's bike, and throw peanuts in the lake."  The second one says, "All I did was break a window, steal a bike and throw peanuts in the lake."  The third one says, "All I did was smash a window and steal a bike."  "Did you throw peanuts in the lake?", asks the judge.  The kid replies, "I'm Peanuts."